In light of the coronavirus, this is going to be the first of many episodes in which I’ll be offering you tools to manage your overwhelming emotions at this time of unprecedented worldwide pandemic and self-quarantining.


It’s only natural for us all to be experiencing some degree of anxiety, fear, sadness, loss, confusion, overwhelm during this time. There is so much unknown, there are so many plans that we’ve had to cancel or postpone, there is loneliness, isolation and of course our emotions will be along for the ride. Having tools to know what to do when these emotions start to take over will be more helpful now than ever. In this episode, I interview psychotherapist Hilary Jacobs Hendel who guides us through a framework known as the change triangle to map where our emotions are, and how to notice when our inhibitory emotions (such as anxiety, shame and guilt) or defensive emotions (such as depression, resistance, addiction, denial, etc…) are blocking us from feeling our core emotions (joy, sadness, fear, anger, disgust or excitement). I also add the framework of mindfulness for how we can name our emotions to be able to calm our brain and body.


To learn more about Hilary and her work: Hilary Jacobs Hendel, LCSW, takes the complex world of emotions and makes them easy to understand and work with for greater peace, calm and confidence. She is the developer of the Change Triangle tool for emotional health. Hilary is also the author of the award-winning self-help book on emotions called, “It’s Not Always Depression: Working the Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to Your Authentic Self” (Random House, 2018). She is a certified psychoanalyst and AEDP psychotherapist and supervisor. She has published articles in The New York Times, TIME, Oprah, Salon, and professional journals. Hilary also consulted on the psychological development of characters on AMC’s Mad Men. Hilary’s blog on emotions and how to use them for wellbeing is read worldwide. For more FREE resources on emotions and emotional health, visit:





Twitter: @HilaryJHendel

Instagram: Hilary Jacobs Hendel

The Change Triangle YouTube Channel:

Order It’s Not Always Depression: Working the Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to Your Authentic Self (Random House, 2018):

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