To The Other Half Of My Soul,
I’ve written and rewritten this more times than I can count. Every attempt comes with a deep panic—a fear of being too much, too emotional, too needy, for that is etched in my DNA. Yet staying on the surface isn’t enough either. And I need to be honest— for you, for me, and for the future of our relationship.
Loving you has brought out both the best and the worst parts of me. When things are good between us, I feel grounded, safe, and deeply connected. But when there’s distance—even the tiniest space—I feel a deep fear of abandonment wash over me. That’s the reality of being anxiously attached: a constant tug-of-war between love and fear, closeness and panic.
I know I often need reassurance, and at times it probably feels like it’s never enough.
I notice every pause in conversation, every delayed text, every shift in tone—and my mind fills in the blanks with stories of abandonment or disconnection. I know it is draining for both of us.
This anxiety isn’t because of you. It preceded you. It came before this relationship. It’s based on very early experiences—moments where love felt uncertain, where safety was inconsistent and acceptance was conditional. But even though the origin is in the past, the impact shows up here, in the present. In us. And I’m sorry about that.
I’ve often felt ashamed of how desperately I need closeness, how deeply I feel, and how quickly I fear being abandoned. But I’m learning that these reactions come from a nervous system wired for protection—not because I’m broken, but because I learned to survive by constantly looking for threat in relationships. And now, I want to learn a new way. With you. Because you are worth it.
I want to move beyond my anxious attachment and into a more secure, safer version of love. I want to regulate my emotions more effectively, to self-soothe, and to stop needing constant external validation to feel secure. I want to show up in this relationship with confidence and clarity, not just fear and lack.
That doesn’t mean I don’t need you. I do. I need your presence, your patience, your understanding. I don’t expect perfection—but I do long for consistency, reassurance, and emotional safety. When you lean in instead of pulling away, it helps me calm the turmoil inside. When you let me know you’re here—even in silence—it builds trust. It helps me calm my nervous system.
We come from different emotional blueprints. I tend to reach in when I feel uncertain. You may need space when things feel intense. This dynamic is difficult, but we can learn new ways of being—together.
Thank you for loving me through the ups and downs. Thank you for staying when it might have been easier to leave. Every moment of connection means the world to me.
This letter is more than an testament of my love—it’s a commitment to evolution, healing, and becoming more secure in how I love and relate. I’m learning. I’m trying. And I’ll keep showing up.
With all my heart,
Me
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If this resonates with you, and you’re interested in healing your attachment style to build the relationship you deserve, please email Joree Rose, LMFT at joree@comcast.net.
Or dig deeper at the following links for more info:
🧠 Top tools for emotional mastery and high tech execs from the best executive coach in Silicon Valley:
👉 GuideToSelf.com
💬 The best podcast for relationships and those who want to create a happier, safer love life:
🎙️ Love Isn’t Enough Podcast
👉 For the tremendous work Dr. John & Joree are doing in couples counseling, visit their top couples counseling site:
👉 LoveIsntEnough.net
🎙️ Top 10 Podcast for Men looking to evolve with greater communication skills, grit, mental toughness and happiness:
👉 The Evolved Caveman Podcast
🌱 Joree’s expert work on mindfulness, therapy & transformation (aka, the best therapist for women near you):
👉 JoreeRose.com
📸 For more info on the superb counseling Joree is doing with women who don’t want the next 20 years to be like the last 20, visit her site at
👉 MindfulnessAndTherapyCenter.com
💬 The top 10 podcast for women over 40:
🎙️ Journey Forward with Joree Rose Podcast
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