Joree Rose, LMFT & Dr. John Schinnerer
LoveIsntEnough.net | JoreeRose.com | GuideToSelf.com | MindfulnessAndTherapyCenter.com | TheEvolvedCaveman.com
Have you ever been in a relationship where the connection felt magnetic, even electric—but also incredibly painful? Where one moment you’re drawn together with intensity, and the next you’re pushing each other away? If that sounds familiar, you may have been caught in the anxious-avoidant trap.
This dynamic is one of the most common and confusing patterns we see in relationships, especially when one partner has an anxious attachment style and the other leans avoidant. It’s a push-pull cycle that creates emotional whiplash—one partner craves closeness and reassurance while the other needs space and autonomy. The harder the anxious partner pursues, the more the avoidant partner distances themselves, and vice versa.
It’s a dance that’s often rooted in childhood attachment wounds and nervous system responses—two people unknowingly triggering each other’s deepest insecurities and fears. The anxious partner may fear abandonment or rejection, while the avoidant partner may fear engulfment or loss of independence.
At the beginning of these relationships, the chemistry is often off the charts. There’s passion, excitement, and what feels like deep love. But that connection is often mistaken for compatibility, when in truth, it may be a trauma bond or a reflection of unresolved patterns. What feels like love may actually be lust-fueled anxiety, and the highs and lows can become addictive.
This is why love—on its own—is not enough. You can deeply love someone and still be emotionally unsafe with them. You can care about each other and still create harm. You can be attached but not aligned.
What’s needed is emotional maturity, awareness, and a willingness to do the inner work. This means:
* Learning your own attachment style and how it shows up in relationships
* Tending to the nervous system and building capacity for secure connection
* Setting and respecting boundaries
* Communicating needs clearly and without blame
* Breaking the cycle of pursuing and distancing
Whether you identify more with the anxious or avoidant side (or oscillate between both), healing is possible. You can rewire your attachment patterns. You can create safety within yourself. And from that place, you can show up in relationships with greater clarity, balance, and peace.
Because the truth is: love is a beautiful start. But love, by itself, isn’t enough. You also need self-awareness, emotional regulation, and relational skills.
If you find yourself stuck in this dynamic, you’re not alone—and you’re not broken. You’re just running a relational pattern that can be unlearned.
This work isn’t easy, but it is worth it. The more you understand yourself, the more you can create the kind of connection that truly feels good: one that’s grounded, nourishing, and secure.
And that’s the kind of love you deserve. Contact us to get the love you desire. Joree AT JoreeRose.com.
Wanna Climb Higher Up The Happiness Hill ? Here’s Where To Begin Your Ascent:
📸 For more info on the superb counseling Joree is doing with women who are stuck in their lives, visit her site at
👉 MindfulnessAndTherapyCenter.com
💬 The best podcast for women who seek to get unstuck in live and make the next 30 years better than the last 30:
🎙️ Journey Forward with Joree Rose Podcast
😡 For info on Dr. John’s Ultimate Online Anger Management Class (which has over 20,000 graduates!), visit his High Performer Shop.
🧠 Top tools for emotional mastery and high tech execs from the best executive coach in the San Francisco Bay Area:
👉 GuideToSelf.com
💬 The best podcast for relationships and those who want to create a happier, safer love life:
🎙️ Love Isn’t Enough Podcast
👉 For the tremendous work Dr. John & Joree are doing to heal relationships, visit their top couples counseling site:
👉 LoveIsntEnough.net
🎙️ Straight talk on evolution, masculinity & growth on the best podcast for men:
👉 TheEvolvedCaveman.com
🌱 Joree’s expert work on mindfulness, therapy & transformation from the best therapist for women near you:
👉 JoreeRose.com
